It’s taken the fictional character known as ‘Barack Hussein Obama’* a while to get around to doing it, but he, finally, was able to last Friday [tip of the fedora to GeoffB].
EXECUTIVE ORDER #127,173
I, General de Presidente Baracko Husseinez j Lopez Cara de Tiron Antonio de Gatito Marfa Alinsky Debil Tonto de Santa Obamanna (Señora) do hereby declare, ordain, and command the following order:
Whereas, ‘As Democrats, we’ve let the other side define the word “freedom” for too long’…
Henceforth, the word ‘freedom’ shall be defined as follows:
-’Freedom is the peace of mind of knowing that if you got sick, you won’t lose everything.’
-’Freedom is the ability to change jobs and start a new business, chase a new idea without fear of losing your health insurance.’
-’Freedom is signing for that new home and knowing it can’t be taken from you because you actually understand what you’re signing.’
-’Freedom is getting that new credit card and knowing the stakes and understanding how you’re going to manage it; enrolling in college and knowing what you’ll owe once you graduate.’
-’Freedom is the knowledge that your future in this country is secure; you’re not going to be treated like a second-class person once we fix our broken immigration system.’
-’Freedom is the ability to go into a store or a restaurant without the fear that you’d be refused service because of who you are or who you love.’
And, when in doubt, Freedom is whatever I [or one of my minions] decide it is, at any given moment.
Promulgated this third day of Reggieloveuary [old calendar: February] in the Year Six, Anno Salvator.
The Fifth Columnists all reported afterwards:
Freedom means having the government of The United States coddle, protect, and control you; freedom has always meant this.
…And the jackboot stamps harder…
…and we have nothing left to lose, Outlaws.
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*Barack Hussein Obama’ is a fictional character
created by David Axelrod, Valerie Jarrett,
Bill Ayers, Barry Soetero, etc…
